The Extra Point

Yeltsin!

Seemed appropiate. If you're a Notre Dame fan, you probably haven't heard of these guys yet. They're a decent indie/pop band, and I'm sure they're cashing in on their name today. Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin.

I went to the Blue and Gold game, and I shot some video, but I don't have the cables here to upload it to the computer. They are in New York, and I am in St. Louis, working on a movie. When they get mailed out here, I will cut up the video and deliver my awesome product. Until then, enjoy audio.

Sour Grapes never tasted so good

Troy Smith, Heisman winner. 4/14 passing for 35 yards, 0 tds, 1 int, 10 rushing attempts for -27 yards, 1 fumble lost, 5 sacks.

If you didn't see the game it just looks like there are numbers missing, like there should be more digits in there. If you watched it all, you would know that Smith was in negative yardage for most of the game. You also never got enough of those sour candy worms during childhood.

As a Notre Dame fan, I couldnt have hoped for much better, as I have no love for either team. College Football can be such a bitter world, it seems you can only root for teams that have never slighted yours, and everyone's done something to ND. The only teams I feel like I can pull for aside from the Irish are the likes of Boise State and Rutgers, teams without a history. So if you are a vindictive College Footbal fan, or live anywhere near Ohio and have had to deal with obnoxious OSU fans, you got exactly what you wanted last night. If you have moved past your bitterness or just wanted to see a good game, man, what a debacle.

If you were bitter that Brady didn't win the Heisman, you certainly got your dose of Schadenfreude. So all those media members who voted Brady Quinn 3rd in the Heisman race are now forced to doubt everything they so pompously proclaimed. It seems to happen every year now, doesn't it? 82 yards of offense! Can you imagine the media outcry if this had happened to Notre Dame? We were an upset away from exactly that happening. If USC doesn't lose to UCLA, ND likely would have played Florida in the Sugar Bowl, and we would have lost even more badly to Florida than we did to LSU. At least we made a half of it.

If UCLA doesn't upset USC, Florida never even gets into this game.

As I've said before, back when I used to do video posts, pressure up the middle and bad O-Line play will make any QB look bad. Take ND's O-Line and put them in OSU uniforms. Smith wouldn't have a had a chance to win the Heisman.

The more I watch College Football, the more I feel like I don't know anything at all about any team until I see these teams play each other. In a timely fashion, not two months after the season. Until you see teams play each other, how can you ever decide who is better, and who should be ranked higher?

The entire College Football system is ridiculous. Even a plus-1 system wouldn't be good enough. Who would Florida play in the next game if there was a plus 1 game? USC, Wisconsin, LSU, or Boise State? You can make a case for any team, and we still wouldn't know who the best team was.

Also, it seems that we can't watch a game now or highlight program without hearing about a record breaking performance. Now that we've entered the era of a 12 game regular season, none of these records mean anything. So what if Colt Brennan threw for 55 td's, he had an extra game to do it. I don't want to hear about Charlie's 10 game win total. This team didn't perform any better than last year's team. With their 12th game, ND added Army to their schedule. Without that game, the Irish would be 9-3 again this year, and that banner in the Gug should still be hanging up, because that's still not good enough.

ND names new Defensive Coordinator

In the wake of the Sugar Bowl rout, Charlie Weis saw the need for a change on the defensive side of the ball. In a recent press conference that only I saw, Charlie announced a new Defensive staff for the Irish. It appears that they have a strong New Jersey connection. The staff will be:

Jon Bon Jovi: Defensive Co-ordinator
Richie Sambora: Linebackers coach
David Bryan: Defensive Line coach
Tico Torres: Defensive Backs coach
Alec John Such: Defensive recruiting coordinator

Tom Zbikowski, who was considering returning for a 5th year, was quoted as saying, "Well I was gonna come back for one more year, you know, lead the team, give the younger guys some leadership, but now I'm not so sure. It'll just be another year of Jersey sarcasm and wisecracks. And if I have to hear "Livin' on a prayer" one more time, I think I'm gonna shoot myself."

Eyes on the Prize

Here's a nice little blub about Charlie from Maisel that you might not see anywhere, as it is banished to subscriptionland over at the Worldwide Eater.

Weis Fixed On The Prize
He may be loud and he may be big, but even Charlie Weis can be inconspicuous. On the night that Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn did not win the Heisman Trophy, the Fighting Irish coach stood behind a pillar at the far end of the lobby outside the Nokia Theater. If you came down the stairs into the lobby and craned your neck to the left, you might have seen Weis, which is how he liked it.

When public figures like Weis are in a public setting -- that is, one they don't control, complete with civilians -- they lurk on the edge of it. To dive in would be to surrender their time and their shield. Speaking of which, I can remember being in South Bend some years ago for a banquet at which then-coach Lou Holtz would speak. He stood in the second-floor lobby of the athletic building, self-pinned against a trophy case, sipping a diet Coke and girding himself to go on stage.

So Weis is off to one side, and I walk up and re-introduce myself and congratulate him on going 10-2. And here, from memory, is what he said:

"Listen, it's a polite thing to say, and politically correct, but if I'm happy with a 10-2 record, I'm going to get fired," Weis said. "The two losses were not close. We're not where we want to be. But I'm telling you, with the players we have coming in, including a couple of recruits that nobody knows are going to commit to us, we're going to be a lot better. A couple of years from now, you are going to remember that we had this conversation tonight."

"All right," I said. "I'll remind you. No, you remind me."

"I won't have to," Weis said. "We'll just look at each other, and you'll know."

You can't hear tone of voice online. On the screen, Weis might sound arrogant in that exchange. He didn't in person. He is fixed on a prize, and he intends to claim it.

One other thing: that's why journalists love unscripted moments. That's the real Charlie Weis.

Heads Up!!!!

Chest Bump! Brady Quinn, winner of the Maxwell Award.

It seems that Paris has switched allegiances

Notre Dame has gotten a lot sexier in the Charlie Weis era, and now we've got the arm candy to prove it. We encourage your comments.

Yeah! Woo Nostalgia!

A couple of weekends ago I went out to the ND-North Carolina game. I scraped together a little vignette of a Notre Dame football Saturday, yet another ND video that capitalizes on your feelings of wistful nostalgia and bittersweet longing for a time you can never go back to. Enjoy! Fear not, there's no parque dance floor, no poetry, and you won't see the worm, but there is an excessive amount of woo-hooing. I've slowed down since I was a student, my poetry slams aren't quite what they used to be. Hope you like it, and that I'm not too embarassed by this sometime down the road. Oh yeah, and the song is "stay where you are" by Ambulance ltd.

ND-UCLA Pt. 1--The Beginning

This is about where I picked the game up. I did Zombiecon in Manhattan. Went out with a hundred people or two, and we put on zombie makeup and shambled around, got drunk and scared tourists and little children. My throat hurts from gravely moaning "BRRAAAIIINNNSSS!" too many times. It was basically an excuse to recycle last year's Halloween costume.

Ghostbuster.

The best and worst of Halloween costumes.

It's the best because:
1. Everyone recognizes and instantly loves you. Strangers shout "Ghostbusters" as you walk by them on the street. You enjoy minor fame.
2. If they play the Ghostbusters theme song at the party, you rule the dance floor for 4:03. Use that time wisely. Remember, girls like Venkman.
3. You make a "proton pack" from a bookbag and one of those pump spray pesticide holders. You fill the backpack with ice bought from a deli (while wearing zombie makeup, but no one says anything, cause this is New York City). You then pour in a bottle of vodka. Your call how big that bottle is. You throw six tall boys of Bud in there. Then you throw some lemonade mix on top for flavor. You get really drunk on your own cool-aid, and you can dispense drinks to friends and hot chicks and the bouncer is none the wiser. This also makes it the worst costume.

On your back you carry around a bomb. This bomb will eventually explode, causing you to fall down, embarass yourself, and possibly puke over the side of your bed. When you carry around the party's biggest mixed drink in your backpack, with the ability to drink it all night, you inevitably get way, way too drunk. It takes a great, great man to be able to pull off the Ghostbuster cotume.

So if someone comes up to you and says, hey, let's be Ghostbusters for Halloween. Don't do it.

Here's a pic of me, dressed as a Zombie Ghostbuster, riding a 6 passenger bike through times square.

It was a crazy day, and I missed most of the ND game, but hey, that's what tivos are for. And anything that gets me to take a photo like this next one, I'm in support of. The Ghostbuster costume was almost too much.

... I mean I'm no, I can't... I'm a little man, I'm a little man, he's... he's a great man.

ND-UCLA Pt. 2--Giving the Ball to the Enemy

How many times can you run a QB sneak in one game before the opponent will stop you?

ND-UCLA Pt. 3--The Defense

Wow, good defense. When I first heard about the whole "Mute quarterback" thing, I thought the defense would have an easy game. I mean, c'mon, a Muteback leading an offense, unable to communicate through normal vocal facilities. Left to suffer, without words. Ow, so sad and deep, it's like some crappy teenage romance novel, and I could never respect an offense run by a romance novel. But hey, the kid could throw. So why not let him go for the first down? Haven't people learned yet? Get conservative against Charlie and you will lose. And by the way, how demeaning must that be to the third string quarterback. "Yeah, we know the other guy can't talk, but c'mon, how well can you really throw?