The Extra Point

USC-Oregon State pt. 3--"The game is not over"

But it might as well be. The only thing left is the onside kick, and then lots of celebrating, burning some couches, and lots of drunk people having sex because some people they don't even know beat some other dudes they don't know if a football game. Man I tell you, if I could party anywhere in America tonight, I'd be partying in Corvallis. It's pretty funny to listen to the PA announcer pleading to the fans to stay off the field, I couldn't quite decipher what he said, sounds like the Charlie Brown teacher blaming the fans for some flags.

USC-Oregon State pt. 2

Well as I said earlier, this is the point where I was able to pick up the game again. Damn FSN. And it looks like another bad call by the Pac-10 refs, what a surprise. Must resist... but cannot... bad pun must be written... The Beavers bust the Trojans. Ah. Now that we got the one out of our system--It looks like Lewis, the DB for the Beavers, did something to a Trojan, because they are just picking on him, going to his side three times in a row. If Coye Francies, who's name looks like one big spelling mistake, doesn't get fooled on the play action on the 2nd down slant to Jarret, that's an easy sack, and I don't know if the Trojans have enough time to get another play off. And people think Notre Dame has a problem running the ball. 86 yards rushing for SC??? You have the ball inside the 3 yard line and 4 times in a row you throw the ball.

For the first time in years USC will not play a role in the National Championship picture, or the Heisman race. What a run they had. So what does this mean for Notre Dame? Well, what everyone dreaded has happened, USC has lost, so that diminishes Brady's Heisman hopes, and also any remote chance of a win over USC catapulting the Irish into the Championship game. The Beavers screw the Irish again. I was at the game the last time they did, and man was that a painful Fiesta Bowl. Also, USC might lose a couple more before the showdown against ND in the Coliseum. But the Irish's march back up the polls continues. And where do you rank USC, who's only good wins come against:

1. A 4-4 Washington team
2. What will be a sorry-ass Big 12 North Champion, Nebraska who is 6-3
3. Arkansas

With a loss to Oregon State (who's losses come at the hands of Cal, WSU, and Boise State), I think you have to rank USC below Notre Dame, but above Auburn, who lost to Arkansas. Does Notre Dame jump to the head of the One Loss teams? Ah, parity in CFB. Controversy, lots of arguing, and possibly BCS chaos. I wonder how many more bad joke lines will be born from this upset.

USC-Oregon State pt.1

Well, I know that a lot of people missed the biggest upset of the year, so here ya go. You can tell it's a big upset because of the quality of the announcing. They didn't even get the good crew to do the game. Unfortunately, I was watching the game on a Fox Sports affiliate, who decided to pre-empt the programming for some tailgate show about New England or something, and by the time I was able to figure out was going on and find the game a play or two had gone by. There must be 50 of those Fox Sports affiliates, and it looks like they spend 95% of their existances sucking. Except for right here dude, except for right here.

ND-UCLA Pt. 1--The Beginning

This is about where I picked the game up. I did Zombiecon in Manhattan. Went out with a hundred people or two, and we put on zombie makeup and shambled around, got drunk and scared tourists and little children. My throat hurts from gravely moaning "BRRAAAIIINNNSSS!" too many times. It was basically an excuse to recycle last year's Halloween costume.

Ghostbuster.

The best and worst of Halloween costumes.

It's the best because:
1. Everyone recognizes and instantly loves you. Strangers shout "Ghostbusters" as you walk by them on the street. You enjoy minor fame.
2. If they play the Ghostbusters theme song at the party, you rule the dance floor for 4:03. Use that time wisely. Remember, girls like Venkman.
3. You make a "proton pack" from a bookbag and one of those pump spray pesticide holders. You fill the backpack with ice bought from a deli (while wearing zombie makeup, but no one says anything, cause this is New York City). You then pour in a bottle of vodka. Your call how big that bottle is. You throw six tall boys of Bud in there. Then you throw some lemonade mix on top for flavor. You get really drunk on your own cool-aid, and you can dispense drinks to friends and hot chicks and the bouncer is none the wiser. This also makes it the worst costume.

On your back you carry around a bomb. This bomb will eventually explode, causing you to fall down, embarass yourself, and possibly puke over the side of your bed. When you carry around the party's biggest mixed drink in your backpack, with the ability to drink it all night, you inevitably get way, way too drunk. It takes a great, great man to be able to pull off the Ghostbuster cotume.

So if someone comes up to you and says, hey, let's be Ghostbusters for Halloween. Don't do it.

Here's a pic of me, dressed as a Zombie Ghostbuster, riding a 6 passenger bike through times square.

It was a crazy day, and I missed most of the ND game, but hey, that's what tivos are for. And anything that gets me to take a photo like this next one, I'm in support of. The Ghostbuster costume was almost too much.

... I mean I'm no, I can't... I'm a little man, I'm a little man, he's... he's a great man.

ND-UCLA Pt. 2--Giving the Ball to the Enemy

How many times can you run a QB sneak in one game before the opponent will stop you?

ND-UCLA Pt. 3--The Defense

Wow, good defense. When I first heard about the whole "Mute quarterback" thing, I thought the defense would have an easy game. I mean, c'mon, a Muteback leading an offense, unable to communicate through normal vocal facilities. Left to suffer, without words. Ow, so sad and deep, it's like some crappy teenage romance novel, and I could never respect an offense run by a romance novel. But hey, the kid could throw. So why not let him go for the first down? Haven't people learned yet? Get conservative against Charlie and you will lose. And by the way, how demeaning must that be to the third string quarterback. "Yeah, we know the other guy can't talk, but c'mon, how well can you really throw?

ND-UCLA Pt. 4--The Comeback

This is the part that made people jump around yell. I was standing at the bar of the Continental ( I typed Continental NYC into google and got this result--this is so damn hilarious, I'm just beginning to have fun with this one), and two Purdue fans, who were bitching about how much they hate Notre Dame, were jumping up and down with me and hugging after the Samrdzija TD. My hands were shaking. Can I say again how nice it is to be able to run a 2-minute drive down the field, something that was lacking from ND football for ten years. Damn it's nice to see it back again.

ND-UCLA Pt. 5--The aftermath

People crying, losing their shit, and having their synapses flooded with serotonin until their heads explode in joy.

ND-Stanford Pt. 1

We're trying a little different format this week. Instead of my ugly mug breaking down the video, I'm gonna try something other bloggers do--this typing thing. So the breakdown will be laid out in print for all to see and ridicule, and then ultimately be corrected. It was just taking too long to cut up all the video for such a long TD drive.

So here we are, a perfect example of the Charlie Weis "Death by a Thousand Cuts" offense. There's two minutes before the half, and like a bad rerun... actually no, this is a great rerun. Like that episode of Saved by the Bell where Jesse sang "I'm So Excited" and got real emotional because of her drugs and that pesky eating disorder. That shit was hilarious. If you ever get a chance to see that episode while actually on drugs, you will laugh your ass off, but in a nostalgic sort of way. Unless you were born after 1985, in which case you will probably not know what I'm talking about. But feel free to laugh about it now. Digression! So like a good rerun, just like last year the Irish march down the field before time expires and throw a big 7 on the board against Stanford. Those guys must hate that.

We pick it up a couple plays in after Darius has run for a 1st down. The Tree has a hard time on this drive getting pressure on Quinn, but that's mostly because they don't like blitzing. However, on this play, they send a corner and a LB, and they're picked up pretty well, but man does Quinn react here to the light pressure. Just the sight of a blitzer makes him go all wobbly legged like he got hit with a tranq dart. Charlie goes after the linebackers here with some crossing routes, and they don't have a chance.

ND-Stanford Pt. 2

So the Tree drop 8 and only send 3 after Quinn. Don't they realize that they're playing to his strength! Haven't they watched the tape! The linebacker and the DB are confused by crossing receivers, and it looks like the linebacker stutters for a second on the replay. He just wants to the help the Shark out a little. Give him some room. Selachimorpha helps himself to a first down. See, this is an educational blog. For all you Nobel prize fans out there, or the crowd at a Cal game. Ignore the audio on the clip as Haden keeps rambling something about YAC yards. Apparently the announcers found that pronouncing the word YAC over and over to be really funny. They're like the PG version of Beavis and Butthead. Yeah, it was a really exhilarating game.